Every year, the Christmas period is a sensitive time when parents are afraid of inadvertently revealing to their children that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. But what if it was time to stop lying? Here we reveal the 10 worst ways to tell your child that Santa Claus is a complete fraud. Be careful, these techniques are not to be reproduced at home.
1. Play hide-and-seek and hide where the presents are
https://giphy.com/gifs/nbclawandorder-svu-law-and-order-organized-crime-ngZ3WfT7tm0yjBNghy
“Come on, Timothy, count to 20 and I’ll hide!”. Off you go to the cupboard where you’ve been spending all your time wrapping expensive plastic presents to please that ungrateful Timothy, who thanks a Santa Claus chimera instead of wiping your ass all year round. Timothée finishes counting to 20 very quickly because he always jumps from 11 to 19 and finds you, directly in the den of evil: the gift stash. Now all you have to do is tell him.
2. Reveal all the tricks at once, so you don’t have to worry about imaginary icons any more.
https://giphy.com/gifs/afv-americas-funniest-home-videos-xTiTnuF7LoOB1eKapW
Dear parents, it’s time to sit down with your child and explain that it’s a bit backward to believe that an old man over a hundred years old is capable of distributing millions of presents all over the world in one night, accompanied by elves, in a flying sleigh pulled by reindeer. Especially since… YOU DON’T HAVE A FIREPLACE! Take advantage of this moment of honesty to tell her the truth about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy too. That’s right, you’re the Banque de France!
3. Blame global warming for killing Santa Claus
https://giphy.com/gifs/big-melting-shelves-eEG5KXWnt7CzS
If you don’t feel like taking Timothée’s wrath in your stride, you can always tell him that the planet is dying, and that melting ice has led to many complications, including the possible death of Santa Claus. He’s seen his reindeer die and his house devastated. You explain to Timothée that you’re going to take over by giving him a little something every year. He’ll become an environmental activist and only ask you for second-hand items for his birthday or Christmas. Bingo, he’s not angry with you, you’re saving money and he’s sorting.
4. Accusing the other parent of lying to clear your name
https://giphy.com/gifs/globaltv-the-good-place-your-fault-eleanor-shellstrop-28fdeDukfpO4CmchDb
One of the simplest methods is to be too lazy to explain everything and tell Timothée straight out: “Look, Santa Claus doesn’t exist. It was your father (or mother) who wanted us to lie to you, and I really wanted to be honest with you, but…”. On the other hand, this method can create tension in your relationship with your partner.
5. Explain that Santa Claus is a concept created by capitalism
https://giphy.com/gifs/hollywoodsuite-bad-santa-badsanta-l0HlEqUKkj18ZFXs4
If you want to tell Timothy the truth, explain that the concept of Christmas is in fact a huge capitalist commercial holiday designed to make the rich richer and the poor poorer. That he’s putting you at a disadvantage, and that he’s the reason you’re going to the Vosges for the summer vacations. Perhaps he’ll be drawn in by what you have to say and become an activist too. This technique should be coupled with the ecological alternative mentioned above.
6. Show him the film “Le Père Noël est une ordure”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA7A2ZPoHEM&ab_channel=STUDIOCANALFrance
Sometimes pictures are worth 1,000 words. All it takes is the scene where Gérard Jugnot slaps a child in the street and removes his beard for Timothée to understand. The trauma will then come from this film and not from you. A great concept.
7. Make him believe he’s Santa Claus himself, so he can buy you lots of presents with the money he’s saved from the Tooth Fairy.
https://giphy.com/gifs/filmeditor-christmas-movies-a-story-l0ErzLiXLiPTwS4w0
This method is a real teaching tip from Charity Hutchinson, a mom who revealed her ultimate technique in a Facebook post, to gently teach your child that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. Indeed, when Timothy asks you the fateful question: “Does Santa really exist?”, you should reply: “My sweet child, if you start to doubt, it’s because you’re old enough to know that you’re Santa Claus, and that children who don’t believe in him aren’t yet old enough in their hearts to become one. You are. And make him understand that being a Santa means trying to give pleasure in a selfless way.
Well, it’s a great method in real life. But the aim is to get him to give you back the gifts you’re entitled to. So you can add a special note at the end of the speech, like: “Pay attention to your parents’ wishes, for example, so you can treat them all year round with Grandma’s money”.
8. Dress up as Santa and take the suit off in front of him on December 24.
https://giphy.com/gifs/snl-saturday-night-live-season-46-dNvaBfoxWSowUpATQW
If you’re one of those families who has to dress up as Santa on Christmas Eve, then this technique may be the best way to explain to your child that the gentleman giving the presents on December 24 is you! Ding dong, the bell rings, you go into the living room and BAM! You take off your costume, look Timothy in the eye and say, “I’m Santa Claus!
9. Let Max Boublil explain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6MFXem42-E&ab_channel=maxboublil
Nothing says Merry Christmas like Max Boublil’s song from ten years ago. It tackles important issues such as child exploitation in China, Christmas for divorced parents… In short, a good dose of truth for Timothée to finally get his feet back on the ground.
10. The rhetorical question technique
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The easiest way to get Timothy to see for himself that Santa Claus doesn’t exist is to ask him questions to make him realize his own stupidity: “How does Santa Claus get his pension if he only works one night a year?” or “Do you really think Santa Claus would give Dad Mon Chéri every year when he’s allergic to cherries? You don’t think it’s Auntie Bea who hates him?”.
